![]() They do share some consistencies: In each, they play twin sisters engaged in some kind of caper. Each of these 36 films is located on a sliding scale of uncanny, ranging from casually surreal to utterly phantasmagorical. From 1992 to 2004, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen starred in a total of 36 movies. However, I also believe it would be a failure of cultural morality on par with the plot of The Giver if we were to willingly forget about the twins’ archival film work. As a rebuke to being paid to smile with teeth for decades, they now never - never - smile with teeth. They force guests to forfeit cell phones at their intimate weddings to old French men, where they pass around “bowls and bowls” of cigarettes. They skulk around New York City in massive sunglasses, hiding behind sheets of dripping-wet hair. They speak to only one or two publications a year, exclusively about The Row and how fundamentally horrifying it is when anyone asks them anything that’s not about The Row. In fact, they’ve spent the duration of their adult lives painstakingly detaching themselves from this legacy. Mary-Kate and Ashley do not want me to remind you about this. Which is why I’m here to remind you that, for a very long time, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were famous for being straight-to-VHS movie stars. However, it has been said that if we do not understand our history, we are doomed to repeat it. ![]() These days, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are mostly famous for smoking while leaning against the brick wall outside the office of their shared fashion line, The Row. Photo: Emily Denniston/Vulture/Courtesy of the studio/Getty Images
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